what a schmuck!

1:20 AM

'schmuck' has nothing to do with today's entry. (err, maybe there is )

A friend of mine send me an email today, asking me for Twilight Saga e-book.
i don't have all four of them, i only have New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn.
so i sent all of them to her.

i'm very, very sorry Stephenie Meyer, for sending the e-books to her.
but i think you are rich enough that i don't think you would mind, no? *face down, making innocent-cute face*
and owh, FYI, she (my friend) has all of your books [the hardcopy], she wants to read the ebook just to kill the time during her office hour..

as we correspondenced by e-mail today, i couldn't help but thinking of how funny the Saga were.
put your mind aside from the movie - i dissapointed too - but the novel..?
it's totally hilarious!
can you imagine, a hundredth years-of-age vampire use the word 'schmuck'?
i mean, i thought that vampires were supposed to be old and ancient and boring (like Edward. haha), not bloody-cool- vampire that use urban slang for everyday talk, right?~ lol.
and boy, am i glad Stephenie Meyer wrote that way.. =)

My favourite are Eclipse and the first half of Breaking Dawn (the rest of Breaking Dawn is kinda boring)
when i first read it, it felt like i was reading Sophie Kinsella's novel- but a younger version of her~
ok fine. so Bella is not as sophisticated as any of Kinsella's novel character, but she's funny too!
and i honestly think, the character that i like the most is of course Jacob! well, in jokes/funny department. for a kind-hearted-person, i like Alice. she's a sunshine too, like Jacob. for a romantic and caring person, of course i'll vote for Edward! hehe.

here are some of the dialogues/script/line/whatever that cracks me up:

She sighed.
"I told you – ," I started to say.
"Did you know that I told you so' has a brother, Jacob?" she asked, cutting me off.
"His name is 'Shut the hell up."
"Good one."


Ugh. i wondered what all house-of-horrors stuff they kept around here. Fridge full of blood, check. What else? Torture chamber? Coffin room?


And then we were across the road and moving through the forest that ringed the Cullens' house. Could Edward hear us yet?
Maybe we should be thinking something like,'We come in peace."
Go for it.
Edward?He called the name tentatively. Edward, you there? Okay, now I feel kinda stupid.
You sound stupid, too.

note: this part remind me of Alien In The Attic movie, when the alien says "we come in pieces". lol.

Emmett had already chuckled under his breath once. One mistake, and
he'd be rolling on the floor. Then the jokes about the world's only clumsy vampire
would start....


People - well, vampires and werewolves really, but still - people I loved were going to get hurt. Hurt because of me. Again. I wished my bad luck would focus a little more carefully. I felt like yelling up at the empty sky:It's me you want - over here! Just me!


"Where is this psycho crap coming from? Are you making this up as you go?"


"Do you think you could attempt to control your thoughts?" Edward's low whisper was furious.
"No one said you had to listen," Jacob muttered, defiant, yet still embarrassed.
"Get out of
my head."
"I wish I could. You have no idea how loud your little fantasies are. It's like you're shouting
them at me."


So I'd been all geared up to be keeping that secret. And then, two days after Rachel got home, Paul ran into her on the beach. Bada bing, bada boom – true love!
No secrets necessary when you found your other half, and all that imprinting werewolf garbage.


I took the clothes gingerly between my teeth – ugh – and carried them back to the trees. Just in case this was some joke by the blond psychopath and I had a bunch of girls' stuff here. Bet she'd love to see the look on my human face as I stood there naked, holding a sundress.

note: this is Jacob talking when he is in his wolf-self before changing to human.

"Yeah, I know, I know. They're the good guys, they're here to help, they're going to save us all.
Etcetera, etcetera. Say what you want, I still think Dracula One and Dracula Two are creep-tacular."


Well, I was sure the others would kill me before I had to do anything about them. I didn't want to kill girls... even vampire girls.


"How are you feeling?" I mumbled. What a stupid question.
"A little stoned. Dr. Fang isn't sure how much pain medication I need, so he's going with trial
and error. Think he overdid it."

note: Dr Fang=Dr Calisle Cullen

there are lots more, actually. especially from New Moon & Eclipse. but i don't want to screw it up for those who haven't read the book , or for those who doesn't want to read the book, but want to wait for the next movie instead.
still, i suggest you to read the book.
you have no idea how funny it is when it comes to Jacob-Rosalie; Jacob-Alice. they argue all the times! and hell, it's always make me almost ROFL!~ hee!

of course the novels have it flaws
(i still can't understand how male vampire can create a child, but female can not. what the heck..??).
it's a fiction novel, what do you expect?
BUT one thing i can assure you: Twilight Saga surely will put a smile on your face.. (^_-)v

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